Things here are still static. We're living here in Macclesfield waiting for something to happen. I'm currently in "contact" with three churches regarding preaching positions. We'll see what takes place.
Other than that...there's not much to say. I've been listening to a lot of early 90's Christian music lately. Mostly stuff that people have not heard of: Applehead, Under Midnight, Native Son & The Foundation and Dig Hay Zoose. It's been a real breath of fresh air. It's also made me feel MUCH younger.
Oh yeah...I have completed my marathon dental work. Woo hoo. My teeth are all fixed and pretty...well...they're fixed.
Life really can throw you
for loop, can’t it? There are times when I sit down and look at where my life
is and I wonder how I got here. I wonder who I am. I wonder why I am in the
situation that I am in. Part of me suspects that there is some serious divine
discipline at work. The Bible talks about being refined and purified through
fire so I can accept my life for what it is right now. I just wonder how long
the refining part lasts. Will I ever be ready for whatever it is that God has
planned for me? Is there a certain level I have to reach before doors start to
open again? There is a small voice in my head that whispers to me at night and
it tells me that I’ve screwed up so badly that I will never get another chance.
Sometimes I believe it.
I’m sitting here in the two bedroom mobile home that my
father rents. We (my wife and three children) live here with him while we wait
to see what is in store for us. I have resumes at least six different churches
and one small Christian school but I am seriously starting to wonder if any of
these leads will pan out. I have contacted at least fifteen other churches
since February of this year and nothing has come up. I have applied for a few
non-ministry jobs as well but they have all been dead ends as well. People at
church and people I know from Bible college constantly tell me that they know
God has something big planned for me and I should be patient. It’s easier said
than done, but I am honestly trying.
Perhaps I am a high risk. I am 39 years old with a wife
and three children. I have a college degree but very little “professional”
experience in the ministry. I believe that many churches feel I am too old to
be a youth minister and not experienced enough to be the senior minister. I
would think that my life experiences and my years of volunteer church ministry
experience would count for something, but apparently they don’t. I am coming
off of three ministries that have ended prematurely. One of them ended because
I just did not feel a connection with the people at the church and to be
honest, I am not sorry that it ended. The next one ended when a vote to hire me
took a turn south. I have some deep feelings about that one but I try to leave
it in the past. Truthfully, that experience has somewhat soured me on the
preaching ministry, even though I think that’s what I’ve been called to do. My
last ministry ended when I decided that I could not work with the organization
that was funding it. I loved what I was doing and I loved the people I was living
with, I just could not deal with the people calling the shots. I chalk that one
up to a lot of miscommunication, on both sides. I do believe leaving it was the
right thing to do though, so I don’t regret it.
Where does that leave me? Well, right now I’m sitting in
this trailer (sorry…mobile home) listening to Underoath and wondering whatever
happened to my music career. That is supposed to be a joke. I did briefly flirt
with the idea of giving music a shot but I decided that a wife and kids sounded
much better. I don’t regret that one either. I have a lot of fun when I’m
playing music and I do enjoy writing songs, but I just don’t have the drive it
takes to be a professional musician. I never have had it and I never will.
I picked this Underoath CD up at the Salvation Army
thrift store in Tarboro last week. I paid $1.99 for it. The crazy thing is that
I almost paid $7.99 for it on iTunes about a week ago. If I hadn’t been saving
my iTunes’ credits for the new Stryper album I would have bought it last week.
Some of the kids at camp turned me on to them a few weeks ago. This album is
called Lost In The Sound Of Separation
and I really dig it. I consider it to be metal but I know that people like to
debate and argue over labels. I don’t care what people label it, I know that I
like it and I’m really impressed by the openly Christian lyrics. I also picked
up another $1.99 CD. It’s called Vices
and it’s from a band called Dead Poetic. It’s not quite as heavy as the
Underoath but I’d still probably call it metal. I’m sure that kids call it
something completely different. After all, I call the new Stryper metal too and
it sounds NOTHING like either of these bands. I’m not griping though, my
generation did the exact same thing when we were kids. I remember arguing that
Led Zeppelin was not heavy metal no matter how many critics and historians said
they invented it. Black Sabbath however, was a totally different story. I guess
I’m rambling.
If I were going to attempt to play music outside of
church I would want it to sound kind of like this Dead Poetic CD. It’s heavy
(but not too heavy) and it’s accessible (but not too accessible). At times it
reminds me of Linkin Park without the hip-hop/rap influences. It’s catchy but
not as poppy as something like Daughtery. I guess it still has some street-cred
since it’s on Tooth & Nail Records. Chino from The Deftones co-produces a
couple of tracks too. I have seen the name in magazines but had never bothered
to check them out. I figured that $1.99 was a safe price to pay. If it had
really sucked I could re-donate it without losing much. I guess that I lucked
up. There was another CD by a band called The Dizmas that I almost bought but I
didn’t want to be greedy. I might go back and get that one later.
Let me go back to the new Stryper album. I actually
bought it on CD after downloading the majority of it from iTunes. I typically
wouldn’t do that but Stryper is one of my favorite bands ever and I would
really like to see this album do well and help them out. It’s called Murder By Pride and it is the best thing
they have done since To Hell With The
Devil. It’s not a total retro sounding album but it does have the things
that most Stryper fans want to hear. There are lots of twin guitar solos, lots
of multi-layered backing vocals and some really nice ear-piercing screams.
There are a couple of songs that could have been on older albums and there are
a couple that sound very current. The cool thing is that the album sounds modern
but maintains the trademark Stryper sound. I’ve only a heard a couple of fans
(on message boards) complain that it just doesn’t sound like Stryper. Compared
to their last album (Reborn) it is a
return to form, but I can see how some might not like it. They could go and
re-record Soldiers Under Command note-for-note
and some people would still complain. You can’t please everybody.
Let me stop for a moment to say that I like Underoath
better than Dead Poetic. In think they’re both pretty good but Underoath is a
bit edgier and more original. I’m sure that there are other bands out there
that sound just like Underoath but I’ve never really heard them. Dead Poetic
almost reminds me of Mae and Further Seems Forever and several other bands
whose names escape me right now. They’re good but nothing earth-shattering. Underoath
really grabbed my attention. I will now have to explore the rest of their
albums and perhaps some other bands that are similar in style.
I have spent the past three weeks helping out a guy from church. He does handyman jobs and I helped him tear down and rebuild a fence at someone's house. He pays me well and he is fun to be around so I've had a great time.
My leg is much better. It should be completely healed up by the time I go to camp next week. I'm looking forward to some serious pool time and hanging out with 1/2 of the world-famous Paul twins.
The new Stryper album is being released on iTunes one song at a time. So far they've released seven of the twelve songs. Speaking strictly as a Stryper fan...this album is epic. It's the best thing they've done since "To Hell With The Devil" back in 1986. If you like classic Christian rock OR 80's metal...check it out. It's called "Murder By Pride" and you can pre-order it on Amazon for about $12. Their cover of Boston's "Peace Of Mind" is worth that alone.
ROCK ON!!!!
I have sent resumes off to churches in Virginia, Kentucky, North Carolina and Ohio. We'll see if I get any hits.
Oh yeah...I am officiating my Mom's wedding this upcoming Saturday.
A little over a week ago I noticed a little place on my right calf that
looked like an insect bite. The skin around it was red and swollen and
my entire calf was sore. I assumed that I had been bitten by a spider
while goofing around in the garage on Thursday. I took Benadryl and
Naproxen and thought nothing of it.
Last Saturday it got worse.
The redness spread down towards my ankle and the swelling extended
around my leg. The "bite" expanded to the size of my pinkie nail and
started to fester.
By Sunday morning the redness and infection
had taken over my whole leg. The "bite" was now the size of a dime. I
promptly got up and went to the Emergency Room. They cut it open and
mashed it and did all sorts of things that made me feel just great.
They gave me an antibiotic and some Tylenol with Codeine and told me to
come back for a follow up on Monday.
The doctor came in Monday
morning and immediately admitted me to the hospital. I had contracted a
lovely little condition known as MRSA
. They put an IV in my arm and dosed me up with some serious
antibiotics. The ones they had given me on Sunday were basically
useless...I might as well have eaten some PEZ.
During the course
of the day it was also discovered that: 1) my blood sugar was high, 2)
my blood pressure was high and 3) my good cholesterol count was out of
whack. So...I hit the health care trifecta. I spent three days in the
hospital and now have to take about 1400 pills every morning.
Yesterday afternoon I made the mistake of taking my meds on an empty stomach. If you are ever considering this...hear me out.
DON'T !!!!
I
was about as sick as I have been since we all contracted salmonella in
Elizabeth City...but that is another story and an altogether different
(more evil) kind of sick. The bad thing was that I hadn't eaten so
there was no food in my stomach. Think about it for a minute. Throwing
up food is bad enough...but throwing up and yielding nothing but bile
and stomach acid is on another level...a very bad level. Then there
were the cramps that came along with being curled up on the bathroom
floor in the fetal position. A very humbling end to an interesting week.
So...one week later...how do I feel?
My
leg is still sore. We have to redress and repack (yes, repack) the
wound every day. These medicines are seriously making me nauseous...but
I've been told that goes away once you get used to them. I'm still sore
from the puking and from the bedridden state I was in for the early
part of the week. I have ended my life-long stance of protecting
spiders though. I used to vehemently defend them and tell people about
all of their contributions to society. Now...I just squash them.
It seems like every time I feel I'm at the brink...I have a God Moment. I've realized that I take for granted those people who God has put into my life. I hope they know how much I appreciate them...even when I don't tell them. I am truly blessed and loved...not only by God...but by the people He has put into my life.
I don't believe that it's proper to share details of private interactions in a forum that is as public as this. However...I do believe that people should know that they are loved and appreciated.
Stephen and Ginny...you just don't realize how important your act of kindness was to my family this week. It may seem small and insignificant and you may even wonder if it really mattered. The answer is yes. If for no other reason than it reminded us that we are not alone in anything. God used you guys in a huge way and I want you to know.
I realize that we all will receive our rewards one day and all of this stuff here on Earth will seem so petty. I also realize that you guys didn't do it to get a pat on the back...but I wanted to give you one. I don't know if I am able to express just how much you guys mean to us...but I wanted to try.
